G.R.R. Martin – A Game of… Volumes

Now that the Game of Thrones frenzy has  a little bit slowed down, as the new season started broadcasting and fans have less to moan about, let’s have a look at some not so raving critiques of the book. 

Whereas all (or the vast majority of) readers agree that the books cannot-be-put-down-until-finished, are mesmerizing, addictive etc, it is a common complaint that the fourth volume took too long to be published and left a very open ending for the fifth, which followed in 2011 and the series is not yet complete. If we take into account that the last volums took almost ten (10!) yrs to write, one can only hope the author will live long enough to complete the series. Amazon reviewers have a conversation ongoing for years and there are numerous blogs and sites discussing the G.R.R. Martin phenomenon, in positive as well as negative ways. Here are some point of views, accurate, contradicting and many true in their aforisms. 

» how did Mr. Martin buy that nice house he is in? By us buying his UNCOMPLETED series.»

«GRRM should finish the d— series and try to leave someone the least bit likeable alive at the end.»

He doesn’t enjoy life and he has a grim view of humanity. Very negative. And as for morality, he seems to believe that the majority of people have no morals and exercise only situational ethics. If they do have a shred of decency in his books, he kills them off.

There is a panel discussion on a Game of Thrones in a science fiction convention in Chicago. I found it entertaining that the description of the panel event is a 2012 calendar, a LARP based on the book, and «A defense by Neil Gaiman to a rabid, impatient fan». 

GIRL, moaning about her boyfriendin her blog (sorry I can’t find the source now that I’ve logged out!!! Sorry to angry author)

(Really, to the prick who sent him ALL of G.R.R Martin’s work, WHY DO YOU HATE MY SEX LIFE?!)

Unknown on Amazon:

I just look at the guy with his weird beard *and predilection toward underage sex/rape* and make sure my kids are close.
He has taken over five years between each of the last two books and there are at least two more to come, you may expire through suffocation if you hold your breath for the next ten years.

Hilarious critique by very nice blog Broke Wife, Big City

Hell, I’m pretty sure at some point during “A Storm of Swords,” my husband had surgery or something and almost died or some junk but to be honest, I have no idea. I was too engrossed in whether or not Jon Snow would take over Winterfell and if someone would finally get revenge on Joffrey.

Look, dude, I’m from Generation X. Smartphones with 3G speed are too slow for us. I can’t wait around five years while you tinker around on your goddamned typewriter. Especially since I know you’re going to leave a shitload of cliffhangers and unanswered questions at the end of “A Dance of Dragons.”

I mean, a lot can happen in five years. Hell, in five years, books probably won’t even EXIST! Or worse yet, I could be a soccer mom! Who only cares about her stupid kids! And not a book series she read five years ago!

WHY ARE YOU RUINING MY LIFE, GEORGE!?!

P.S. If you kill off Arya Stark, I will hunt you down and stab you in the throat.

And a very angry one by Tiger Beatdown 

Enter Ye Myne Mystic World of Gayng-Raype: What the “R” Stands for in “George R.R. Martin”

Meet Catelyn! She’s a dutiful, obedient wife and mother.

Meet Sansa! She’s 13. She likes gossip and parties and pretty dresses and handsome boys. We are meant to believe that, for these reasons, Sansa completely sucks and deserves everything that’s coming to her.

Meet Arya! She’s 9. Arya is not girly. Arya trains to be a sword-fighting ninja. She’s going to be fine.

I want to like Daenerys. But her scenes? They are shit. They are shit. They are shit some more. And then there are dragons.

Meet Brienne! She’s ugly. So, so ugly. If you saw her, what you would think would be: “She’s ugly.” Catelyn feels super-sorry for her, because of how ugly she is. Very, is how ugly she is. Also? She’s the only female knight that we’ve met thus far. Because female competence can only evolve in the absence of sexiness, or if you are a nine-year-old girl.

A Storm of Swords, or, The One Where Everyone Is Dead

A Feast for Crows, or, I’m Sorry I Forgot To Write The Next Installment Of My Book

Reader’s comment from the same blog: PERCENTAGE OF MAJOR FEMALE CHARACTERS ABUSED, RAPED, or THREATENED WITH SAME: “Abuse,” in this scenario, means “physical partner violence,” because if we had to count everyone with a dysfunctional family, the list would never end. So, as of Book 4, the major female characters who have been abused, raped, molested, or threatened with same. That is five out of six, or about 83%.

Personally I just started the fifth book and it really puts me off that I don’t know when or if the series will end. I’d rather stop reading now than face a cliffhanger making me think about all that could be until the author decides to put his final fullstop. Or forget about it until the next books come out and read all 3 together (I will need a good revision of maps and characters, though, if that is going to be 5 years from now.

And GoT or not, after 5 long years I’m sureI will still be mad for books!

photos: top – google images, 2 middle Tiffany Pailer’s board on Pinterest, last, unknown source.

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